Collections

A lot of people have collections. Some people collect comic books and some collect baseball cards. My sister-in-law collects teddy bears. She’s got a room dedicated to her bears and many others distributed around her house. She has stuffed bears, musical bears and teddy bear figurines. Her husband collects anything Coca Cola. He’s got a room dedicated to his Coke collection. He also has a small collection of Eagle memorabilia. I don’t know if that stems from him being in the Air Force or if he just likes our National Bird.

I have a small collection of Lladro figurines. OK, I only have four but I was told it only takes three to be a collection. I also have some glass figurines my husband started getting me for my birthday the year after we got married.  Since there's more than three I guess you could call that a collection too. I love my Lladros because I picked them out.  I bought them on various cruises and vacations to the Bahamas. I cherish my glass figurines from my husband because they were chosen and given with love and he's the only one to give them to me.  

I use to collect unicorns. I say I use to because I got buried in them one Christmas. I mentioned my fondness for Unicorns and everybody and their brother gave me something “unicorn” that year. I received six figurines or statues, wind chimes, a picture and a set of coasters. Never again will I admit to anybody that I’m interested in anything.  

My mom had a unique collection. She collected $100 bills. My dad noticed that she didn’t like breaking a $100 bill so he figured he’d save money if he gave her one whenever she wanted to go shopping. She found a way around that though.  She'd save the bill and take her checkbook. After my mom died I found $600 in her safe. A fake electrical outlet in the bathroom wall.  

How Dependent Are We?

Have we as a society become too dependent on modern conveniences and technology.  

We’d be lost without the TV remote. How would we ever change the channel or up the volume? How do we do simple math without a calculator and forget about looking up a word in the dictionary. We have spell checker. Hey, no need to even know how to spell. Get close enough and spell checker will take care of the rest.  

I’d read something earlier about a woman who didn’t know how to make iced tea without an iced tea maker. Hello, there’s lots of ways. You don’t even need a coffee pot to make coffee. All you need is a pan of water a heat source and some coffee grounds. Of course you may want to strain it before you drink it but that’s the way my mom would make coffee when her pot broke. It worked just fine.  

Several years ago I had some friends over for dinner. One of my friends was helping me in the kitchen and was looking all over for my hand mixer to mash the potatoes. I told her to use the potato masher in the drawer. Now, she was in her late 30’s, early 40’s at the time and had no idea what a potato masher was or how to use one. I thought everybody knew what it was. My mom never used a hand mixer for her potatoes and they were lump free. I like the challenge of trying to get as lump free as possible. If I do have any lumps I tell everyone I do it on purpose so they'll know they’re not instant.  

I learned a lot of neat tricks from my parents that I still use today. Oh, I love the modern conveniences but it’s nice to know I can get by without them if I had to. I still remember how to read a map which comes in handy when I’m driving and don’t have access to MapQuest, especially since I don’t own a GPS. I know how to add and subtract in my head. That one is nice to use when I’m shopping and don’t want to go over my limit. It’s also helpful to know how much change I should be getting back. I cook rice in a pan of boiling water on the stove, I wash the dishes by hand and I know how to knead dough for bread. I know there’s machines that can do all of these things for me but there’s a sense of satisfaction knowing I did it myself.  

There’s one modern convenience I can guarantee I will not be remotely tempted to try,The Bottom Wiper.  

What Would You Miss?



If you’re still living in the city, state or region where you grew up you probably have favorite hang-outs, eateries and foods you don’t give a second thought to. What would you do if those favorites were taken away?

I know I never thought much about it growing up. I was born, raised and lived in Chicago until five years ago. I know what Chicago Pizza tastes like and when I went on vacation I couldn’t wait to get back home to some real pizza. I know what a Chicago Hot Dog is like, piled high with everything but no ketchup. I had my favorite Chinese restaurant by my house and knew I could go into any family style restaurant and order bread pork tenderloin with brown gravy and mashed potatoes or an open faced hot beef sandwich.

I had a cousin who moved from the Chicago area to Montana in the late 70’s. The one thing she missed was canned Pet Milk that she’d put in her coffee. My mom would send her several cans a few times a year. That was her treat. A friend of mine moved from Chicago to California several years ago and they’d have Garrett’s Popcorn shipped to them. When I moved to Alabama in 2003 I didn’t miss much at the beginning but soon realized I missed a good pizza but I can have Chicago food shipped to me for a price from Lou Malnati’s Taste of Chicago. I have found a deli about 25 miles away that makes a decent thin crust pizza, almost as good as I remember. I found a restaurant across from that deli that serves a version of a hot beef sandwich even though I have to tell them how to put it on my plate so it’s open faced. I haven’t found what I consider good Mongolian Beef and for the life of me I can’t find any Hostess Twinkies. I can’t find anything Hostess around here.

I miss these things but after my husband talked to his daughter in Sweden yesterday I realized what I’m missing isn’t that bad. I can still get those things on a trip back to the Midwest. It’s about a 19 hour drive and I can’t go whenever I want but it’s comforting to know it’s there. My stepdaughter misses Hamburger Helper, cube steak and English speaking people. From what I understand beef in Sweden is very expensive so you can’t get it that often and they don't have cube steak. Hamburger helper, except for the convenience you can whip up the equivalent from scratch if you have the right ingredients. You don’t even need hamburger; we use ground turkey in ours. I really think I’d have a problem with the lack of English speaking people.

That makes my pity party over the lack of good pizza seem a little trivial right now.

Photo Credit: Lou Malnati's

Lickety Strikes Again

Lickety Split is at it again. Last week I hear screaming and look out the window to see a little bare bottom staring me in the face. Lickety’s got his shorts and pull-up’s around his ankles. He got them down but is having trouble getting them back up. He’s shuffling towards me with his shorts around his ankles and his pull-up’s twisted around his thighs, for help.

Lickety is doing real good with potty training. He goes to the bathroom on his own and gives everyone hi-fives when he's done. Last week he goes to the bathroom for #2 gives his hi-fives and promptly goes in the kitchen, pulls his pants down and pees on the floor. Needless to say there were no hi-fives for that.

Yesterday I was at my sister-in-law’s for a couple of hours. In the course of about 15 minutes he moved a chair around the kitchen to get in the upper cabinets, freezer and microwave. I no sooner move the chair from the kitchen and I hear more scrapping and he’s got the chair in the kitchen again trying to get to the top of the refrigerator.

After he’s reprimanded for all of this and the chairs are put back where they belong he’s digging out the broom and dust pan. It seems Lickety likes to help with the cleaning. I barely get the broom and dustpan put away and he’s got the 5 gallon tub of dog food out of the pantry and trying to put more dog food into an already full to the brim dish. Nobody saw him near the pantry or heard him dragging the 5 gallon tub across the floor, from the dining room to the kitchen.

This morning he dropped his mother’s boyfriend’s cell phone into a steaming hot cup of coffee.

I keep thinking this must be the terrible two’s and I can’t wait until his birthday next month. Please tell me there’s no such thing as terrible three’s.

Update to Adiana Grace

I just heard that Adiana Grace passed away in her sleep at 3am this morning. My prayers are with her mom, dad and the rest of her family who loved  and cherished her.

Even the U.S. Government Understands



Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Tennessee and Wisconsin. What do these states have in common? Come on, think, you know what it is. OK, if you’re from one of these states you should know what it is. RIGHT. They all can boast about those little square hamburgers, White Castles or as they were known in Chicago, sliders.

Anybody who’s ever had one of these burgers, with the exception of my husband, loves them. They’re best at 2am. You don’t order one or two of these burgers. You order four or five and complete the meal with the best onion rings ever.

What a lot of people might not know is White Castle was founded in 1921 by Billy Ingram and Walter Anderson in Wichita, Kansas. Yes, that’s right. White Castle was the first fast food restaurant. And you thought it was Dick and Mac McDonald in San Bernardino, California. Sorry, McDonalds didn’t begin until 1940 and Ray Kroc didn’t franchise it until 1955 in Des Plaines, Illinois.

Here’s another thing I bet you didn’t know about White Castle, the building was modeled after the Chicago Water Tower and the white exterior and White in the name were to publicize cleanliness.

Now you’re probably asking, why the history lesson on White Castle? Because I wanted to. No, honestly I read an article in our local Alabama paper about the Air Force extending a man’s leave so he could attend the opening of a new White Castle in Livingston County in Michigan. That’s true devotion and even the U.S. Government understands the attraction of those little square burgers.

Adiana Grace



About thirty minutes after I woke up this morning I started having a rough day. I was planning on coming here and complaining. Ranting and raving about things in general but something stopped me. I changed my mind and decided to do something I don’t usually do. I’m going to tug on your heart strings a little.

I frequent a forum where they talk about anything and everything. I was mostly a lurker and became a frequent flier when the story of one of the members touched me. She was pregnant and found out her baby had an encephalocele where there’s an opening at the base of the skull which contains part of the brain covered by skin. She also has a heart defect called hypoplastic left heart syndrome. This is the left side of her heart is undeveloped. Each of these conditions are rare and life threatening. Having both is devastating. Against the doctor’s advice the baby, Adiana Grace (Adi) was born by C-section on May 28, 2008. Adi was only expected to live 7-10 days and not have the normal instincts most babies have. With the aid of hospice, Adi went home.

It’s now been 16 days and Adi is thriving. Her parents won’t give up and are looking at to get a second opinion. They are calling pediatric specialists and children’s hospitals all across the U.S. and have been in contact with a cardiologist who’s reviewed her file and says he can operate on her heart once her brain is fixed. They are waiting for word from the neurologist.

I’m not asking anyone to donate any money, though I’m sure the family could use it. I’m just asking you to read the site that’s been set up and do what you feel you can, even if it’s just passing the story along or keeping them in your prayers.

Most of the photographs on the site were done by Bobby Carlsen Photography who donates his time and services through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.

I Love Modern Technology

I love modern technology. The phone rang a little while ago and it was my three year old granddaughter. She had to call from Sweden to tell her grandpa that she was a BIG GIRL. She went in the potty. That may not be a big thing to you but to a three year old it’s the best thing in the world. It was also one of the best phone calls we’ve received all year.

She’s been living in Sweden for a year and is learning both English and Swedish. Listening to her babble is sometimes confusing. You aren’t sure which language she’s speaking and I’m sure she doesn’t really know either but it is a challenge to try to figure out.

We’ve only seen our granddaughter once. Actually it was a month long once when my stepdaughter brought her to visit a couple of years ago before they moved to Sweden. That was the best month of our lives. That little girl brought so much joy and sunshine with her. She is so well behaved, always happy and has a smile that would light up any room. Of course I’m not biased or anything.

It’s been tough since they’ve been gone. Even though they lived in a different state they were still in the continental 48. Living in Sweden is a whole different story but thanks to modern technology it’s something we can deal with. The phone is good. Skype over the internet is even better. Having a webcam is the best. We can see her and she can see us. We can watch her grow and everybody knows watching a child grow is the best entertainment you could ask for.

Meet the Me Family





I live behind my sister-in-law. Our front yard is their back yard. It’s convenient and my two dogs, Ellie and Stretch have room to run with her three dogs, Sasha, April and Rosie. We’ve noticed the dogs have very separate distinct personalities and have given them nicknames accordingly.

The nicknames started when we realized our reddish mini dachshund, Ellie looked like a larger version of their Chihuahua, Sasha. We started calling Ellie Me and Sasha was Mini Me. We then noticed the different personalities. Stretch, our other dog looks so neglected any time we give Ellie any attention and she tries to push her way in. If we call Ellie she may or may not ignore us. Depends on her mood at the time but we can guarantee Stretch will come running. We started calling her Me Too. Next is my sister-in-law’s poodle, April. April is old and has more than half her teeth missing which is a good thing since she’s becoming very temperamental and cranky. We started calling her Meanie Me. Last is Rosie. Rosie is a large golden retreiver. Rosie was rescued from the pound and she was hit by a car a couple of times before she was adopted into the family. She is the most lovable of them all. Eager to please and thinks she’s a lap dog. We think she has some brain damage, she’s one of the dumbest animals I’ve ever seen. We decided her name is Dumb Me.

So we have 5 members of the Me family. Me, Mini Me, Me Too, Meanie Me and Dumb Me. Of course my favorites are still Me and Me Too and I think Me is the smartest of the group.

A Change is Coming

Can people change? That’s a question I’ve been struggling with for a while now. I have a niece who's in a relationship that was, well, abusive. I made the decision that I would NOT allow the abuser into my home or life. I’ve always been told that if someone is an abuser they don’t change. I don’t know if that’s true or not but that’s the way I was raised and I stood by it.

I said some things about him to my niece. I let her know exactly what I thought of him. She’s been struggling with her own demons and they’ve both been trying to get their lives straightened out. I have my doubts that it will work but I’m hoping they prove me wrong.

I was recengly convicted for my attitude. I was thinking about this the other day and “WHAM” it hit me. Who am I to say if someone can change or not. It’s not my decision to make and I’m the perfect example of someone changing. I’m sarcastic and I’ve always been that way. About a year after I accepted Christ a friend told me I wasn’t sarcastic anymore. I thought I was but she pointed out that I wasn’t as hurtful with it. I realized a change had happened within me that I wasn’t aware of it but others had noticed it.

I concluded that God had changed me and if He could change me why couldn’t He change someone else. Nobody’s the same person today that they were yesterday. You’re not the same as you were when you were six years old. You grew, matured and learned. You changed just as I changed from being hurtful and sarcastic.

I still have my opinions and I’m entitled to those but I do have to accept the possibility that this person could change and it’s not my place to judge him or condemn him for past behavior. God doesn’t hold my past against me and if I hold someone else’s past against them I’m saying I’m better than God which we all know is not true. It may take a little time for him to earn my trust again but I’m willing to give him that second chance that I was given.

All That Glitters is Not Gold

In this case it’s “all that’s green is not marijuana." A thirteen year old girl in Indiana gave some brownies to dorm workers and Indiana University. One of the workers noticed something green and leafy inside a brownie and called the police. Turns out the girl had to make a Swedish food for a school project and used lavender.

Maybe I’m naïve but I would have never thought that was pot. I probably would have questioned it, maybe not have eaten it thinking it was a horrid “green vegetable” but I don’t think I would have called the police. At least I hope I wouldn’t have called the police.

I have to admit I didn’t know you could cook with lavender. I did a search and found a lot of recipes calling for lavender buds, blossoms, syrup and sprigs. I’m still a little confused though, I would have never suspected something green to be lavender. I always thought lavender was, well, lavender.

There Ought to be a Law

Stupidity should be illegal. I’m not talking about those who get poor grades in school, those who have a problem with math or history. I’m talking about people who act and talk downright stupid.

I work part time for a company doing customer service for newspapers. I call customers to see if their service has started and follow-up on any problems. I get a lot of very nice people on the phone who really appreciate the attention and that the paper cares enough to check on them. Then there are those who are so ignorant and don’t even try to hide the fact that they shouldn’t be allowed to speak to anyone outside their immediate families.

An example call:
Me: Hello, is this the residence of John Smith
Customer: Who’s this?
Me: I’m Denice from Your Town Times; I’m calling to see if your paper is being delivered OK
Customer: What paper?
Me: Your Town Times
Customer: What about it?
Me: Did the delivery start OK?
Customer: What delivery?
By this time I’m rolling my eyes and loosing hair, strand by strand. I start again.
Me:Is this John Smith?
Customer: Uh huh
Me:  Did you order the Your Times Gazette?
Customer: I don't remember
Me: You don't remember if you ordered the paper? Is it being delivered to your house?
Customer: I'm not sure, I think so, I don't know
End of call, as far as I can tell there was nobody home and they’ll get another call at another time.

I’ve also gotten people who ask if I’m the police before they tell me if I have the correct person. Some people tell me I have the wrong number and when I tell them I have a subscription to the paper in that name to that phone number I find out I’m talking to the person I asked for.  Other's will say "that's me, but this isn't my residence it's my cell phone."  

Several years ago I was having trouble with the gas company in Chicago. I was actually in a fight with them over an estimated bill that was over $400 which I know was incorrect. I called their customer service and questioned this gentleman about the charges. He argued with me that I wasn’t looking at the statement. I tried to explain that it says “STATEMENT across the top. He has me read the entire statement from him starting at the top. I started with my name, address, phone number and account number.

The conversation when I was done went like this.
Customer Service: All I can tell you is your name is Denice
Me: Aren’t we the smart one Sherlock
Customer Service: There’s no need for rudeness
Me: There’s no need for stupidity either but that’s not stopping you.

People, no matter where they live or where they come from, they never cease to amaze and amuse me.

It's Only a Name

I saw an article in the Offbeat News section of our local paper today. A publishing company used spell-check and it changed the names of students on four pages of Middletown Area High School’s yearbook in Pennsylvania. One student, Kathy Carbaugh was changed to Kathy Airbag, Alessandra Ippolito was changed to Alexandria Impolite and Max Zupanovic was changed to Max Supernova.

This got me to thinking, what would spell-check change my name to. Denice Landry would be changed to Denice Lander which surprises me. I was positive it would change my last name to Laundry considering that’s how most people mispronounce it.

I then started thinking of celebrities. Lindsay Lohan (Lindsay Loan), Cate Blanchett (Cater Blanchet), Demi Moore (Demy Moore), Leonardo DiCaprio (Leonardo Vicario). This is fun and I could go on and on but you get the idea.

Anyway, the publishing company who printed the yearbooks said they are responsible for the errors and will provide free stickers printed with the correct names. Their excuse is that it happens all the time, every year. I don’t know about you but I spent a lot for my yearbooks in the mid 70’s and I wouldn’t want a year book with my name stuck on with a sticker. I’d want a new, hot off the press, corrected yearbook.

Now that I think about it, my yearbooks didn’t have any errors in them or stickers on any pages. Could it be that people took more pride in their work and didn’t rely on machines and computers to do the work for them? And people worry that their jobs will be taken over by computers, I don’t think so.

The Evolution of a Blog

I started this blog as an outlet for stress and frustration and to generally complain, hence the title, Weekly Beef. Since that time it’s evolved into something I’m fairly proud of.

I’ve learned to appreciate the humor in life. If you sit back, watch and keep an open mind and heart life is rather funny, at least mine is. The people around me that use to frustrate me and make me want to pull my hair out aren’t really that bad. Oh, there are times they still get under my skin but now I can laugh about the little things that make them unique. That’s it! I’m surrounded by unique people.

I’m also getting fairly vocal about my opinions and beliefs. I’d always been opinionated I just kept it inside and let it eat at me. Now, I let it out for the whole world to see and it does feel good. My beliefs were always personal to me. Being a Christian was acceptable in society but a Born Again, you were shunned, looked down on and people avoided you like the plague. At least that’s how it was where I grew up. With that in mind I kept my beliefs hidden. Not any more. I’m proud of my faith. I’m proud to be a child of God. I’m proud to call Him Father, Savior and Friend.

I didn’t realize that this forum for me to vent had evolved until recently. As I’d written previously I talk to God and I do feel He talks back to me. I’ve been praying for God to use me for His will. I’ve been waiting for Him to use me and one day it hit me. He is. He’s using this blog and giving me the words to say to tell anyone who stops by about Him, His love, kindness and mercy. He’s also allowing me to touch the lives of some of you in some way.

For that I’m thankful and give Him the glory.