When Raising a Child Try Being a Parent Not a Friend or No Means No

There's been a discussion going around between some family members and friends on Facebook and in emails about disciplining your kids. Anyone that knows me knows that I have a problem with kids that are undisciplined. I'm not talking about a kid that gets a bit rambunctious once in a while or on occasion doesn't listen but I'm talking about the ones that NEVER listen. The ones that you can tell them not to do something over and over and they just look at you as if you spoke a foreign language. I'm sure you all know one like that.

I also have very strong opinions on WHY some kids turn out that way. I'm not saying all kids as there are some children that no matter what you do or say they never listen. Some do have ADHD and have a hard time listening or absorbing what you just said but those are the exceptions and not the ones I'm referring to. 
I'm talking about the ones that the parents coddle and think are precious and perfect or they're too lazy to correct their child while they're running around terrorizing patrons in restaurants and stores.

I use to work in pediatrics at a local hospital and I've seen those little hoodlums of about 3-10 years old scream and yell at their parents saying they hated them and even cussing them out. The parents don't do anything, they don't say anything, they just sit and let that child treat them and talk to them like dirt. I've been on the receiving end of an 8 year old patient who didn't like that I was giving her a breathing treatment. I wasn't hurting her or even touching her but she spit at and bit me. The entire time the mom and dad did nothing.

I've had my dinner ruined in restaurants by children running, playing and yelling. I've paid for a ticket to movies and live plays only to have the experience ruined by children being allowed to run up and down the aisles and throw popcorn at my head. I've been run over by shopping carts in stores by 5 year olds that are running around pushing the shopping carts up and down the aisles while mom or dad are ignoring them and allowing this.

What ever happened to teaching your child how to behave in public. How about teaching them how to behave at home so they'll know HOW to behave in public. How about teaching them to have some respect for people and that starts with the people in their own home and family. Oh, wait a second, to teach a child to have respect the adults FIRST have to have respect for others and that's sorely lacking in today's society.

Children don't learn respect by reading about it, they don't learn respect by being bullied with belts and fists. They learn respect by example. In order to teach your child right from wrong you have to know right from wrong yourself and you have to live it. Now don't get me wrong, I do believe a child needs to be allowed to be a child and that includes running around, yelling and making noise but they need to be taught when it's not appropriate and they need to be taught that stop means stop and no means no.

When a child is undisciplined I don't blame the child, I blame the parents because a child needs to be taught how to act and they need to be taught what the word "NO" means. Believe it or not, "NO" is not a bad word and it's something all kids do need to hear once in a while.

When I was growing up I was taught respect for people and part of that was calling my parent's friends and my friend's parents by the title Mr. and Mrs. There's something about a title that demands respect. If I called any elder by their first name I was corrected right then and possibly eating soap later that day. Today everyone's on a first name basis and that in turn puts everyone, both adult and child on the same level as equals. If I got in trouble at school my parents wanted to know what I did to deserve it. Today parents are on the warpath to get that teacher fired because they dared to yell at or say anything negative about their precious little angels.

The roll models I had on TV growing up were The Cleavers of Leave it to Beaver. If Beaver or Wally got in trouble they got the "talk" from Ward. They were made aware that what they did was wrong and not acceptable and what they had to do to make it right. Later there was The Brady Bunch. If any of them from Greg down to Cindy did anything wrong they got the "talk" from Mike. He always had a life lesson in his talks. The last time there was a TV family that taught values and had kids being taught right from wrong and facing consequences for their actions were The Huxtables of The Cosby Show. Cliff and Claire always tried to instill good values in their children and made them suffer a bit for their wrong actions whether it was lying or just being sneaky and breaking curfew. Today we've got The Wizards of Waverly Place or The Suite Life of Zach and Cody and these are shows with no family dynamics or roll models.  The parents and adults are portrayed as buffoons and the kids are always outsmarting them or making them look like idiots. Some shows don't even have any parents but the kids are pretty much raising themselves and any problems they get themselves into they can get themselves out of without any consequences or lessons learned. That's the type of roll models our kids are following and that's who they're learning from. Maybe it's time the parents stopped trying to be friends with their kids and started being parents. Start monitoring what they're watching on TV and who they're imitating. Maybe then the next generation will grow up to actually be productive members of society.